This entry's song: Cold Brains (Beck, Mutations).
I just got my real wheelchair, 6 months after I was injured.
I hope I never have to go through that haggling process
again, eeeerrrrrggg! Anyway, it's a pretty cool piece
of equipment. My parents and I figured that, since this
chair is basically where I'm going to be spending all
of my time, we should just go all out and make sure it
has all the amenities. So pretty much we souped it up.
I'm talking full on hydraulics, lowered front end, a fat
turbo charger under the hood - all the goodies. Ha, not
really, but it is pretty cool nonetheless. It's a TiLITE
ZRA, with Spinergy wheels, and a Roho Jet Stream Pro back.
The funny thing is, it would look totally bad ass, except
the only cushion I have is this $20 foam thing I bought
on eBay that didn't come with a cover, so I'm currently
rolling around with this nice sky blue pillow case peeking
out from under my butt. And all I wanted was to look good.
So, to inject some philosophy into this story. Let's
see here. . . Ahh, yes. So I've been on break since school
ended a few weeks ago, and have gotten pretty depressed
spending most of my time just sitting around the house
doing nothing productive. However, the past few days I've
been tinkering around with this new chair, setting it
up and adjusting it and whatnot. In addition, my friend
Nate and I have been working on this new website, which
is taking up a lot of my time. Point is, I have been much
happier these past few days, feeling less depressed, more
hopeful, better. The conclusion I've drawn, therefore,
is that my happiness is greatly dependant on doing stuff.
Good description, no? Here's an equation that can describe
the relationship a bit better:
= (A x p -
(2 - T)2 + 10) x h /
H = Happiness
A = Activity level
p = Productivity factor
T = Number of times leaving the house
h = hope factor
P = Pain level
Pretty simple actually. So the main factors really boil
down to productivity, hope or prospects for the future,
and physical comfort/discomfort. As you can see from the
equation, their respective influences vary, however they
all impact the way I feel. Furthermore, each of those
variables influences the others. I'm definitely more hopeful
when my pain subsides, and my productivity goes way up
when I'm comfortable and I see a positive future ahead.
So the real goal is fine tuning all of these variables,
achieving a lifestyle in which each is fully supported
and encouraged. That is way hard though. Damn that's hard.