This entry's song: Cold Brains (Beck, Mutations).

I just got my real wheelchair, 6 months after I was injured. I hope I never have to go through that haggling process again, eeeerrrrrggg! Anyway, it's a pretty cool piece of equipment. My parents and I figured that, since this chair is basically where I'm going to be spending all of my time, we should just go all out and make sure it has all the amenities. So pretty much we souped it up. I'm talking full on hydraulics, lowered front end, a fat turbo charger under the hood - all the goodies. Ha, not really, but it is pretty cool nonetheless. It's a TiLITE ZRA, with Spinergy wheels, and a Roho Jet Stream Pro back. The funny thing is, it would look totally bad ass, except the only cushion I have is this $20 foam thing I bought on eBay that didn't come with a cover, so I'm currently rolling around with this nice sky blue pillow case peeking out from under my butt. And all I wanted was to look good. . .

So, to inject some philosophy into this story. Let's see here. . . Ahh, yes. So I've been on break since school ended a few weeks ago, and have gotten pretty depressed spending most of my time just sitting around the house doing nothing productive. However, the past few days I've been tinkering around with this new chair, setting it up and adjusting it and whatnot. In addition, my friend Nate and I have been working on this new website, which is taking up a lot of my time. Point is, I have been much happier these past few days, feeling less depressed, more hopeful, better. The conclusion I've drawn, therefore, is that my happiness is greatly dependant on doing stuff. Good description, no? Here's an equation that can describe the relationship a bit better:

H = (A x p - (2 - T)² + 10) x h / P

H = Happiness
A = Activity level
p = Productivity factor
T = Number of times leaving the house
h = hope factor
P = Pain level

Pretty simple actually. So the main factors really boil down to productivity, hope or prospects for the future, and physical comfort/discomfort. As you can see from the equation, their respective influences vary, however they all impact the way I feel. Furthermore, each of those variables influences the others. I'm definitely more hopeful when my pain subsides, and my productivity goes way up when I'm comfortable and I see a positive future ahead. So the real goal is fine tuning all of these variables, achieving a lifestyle in which each is fully supported and encouraged. That is way hard though. Damn that's hard.